Chopping Therapy

Leasing agents are super predictable: they tell you everything you want to hear to get you to lease the place, including (most likely) lies about the elusive ‘other very interested couple’. You go for it, even though they don’t show the place after 5pm, so you have no idea what it’s like to be living there with your neighbors home (I’ll tell you: it’s hell, with the baby elephant and his similarly girthy dad stampeding around all frikkin day), they don’t know details about the place (do you have recycling? no, I don’t think so… yes, they do. Where is the dog run? I don’t know… and it’s right in front of our balcony).

Then when something shitty happens, like people stealing stuff off your balcony, all you get is a ‘was it locked down? oh, it wasn’t? oh, sorry’ with an intonation that sounds like ‘you’re an idiot for even bothering to complain when you brought all this bad stuff on yourself’, and you can tell from her voice that she couldn’t care less.

You complain to them about the constant stampeding upstairs, and she says she would call the neighbors. When you finally can’t take it any more and go upstairs after hours to beg them to stop, it’s clear that the agent never called.

The latest: their payment system was down for two days right at the time of rent posting, so *they* posted the rent amount late, missing the automated payment schedule. I received the confirmation that payment was made and moved on. Yes, it’s my bad for not checking how much was taken out of my account, but after seven months of it working fine, one doesn’t suspect that paranoia is necessary. However, instead of an apology notice and heads up to make manual payment because *their* system screwed up, 3 days after rent was due they distribute a ‘pay or vacate’ notice. WTF is wrong with these people? Lividly, I march over to the agent who, not *once* says ‘I’m sorry’ instead explains this is policy, they have to file these notices. When asking why they couldn’t just call to check, she replies that there were too many missed rents this month… how is that for a clue, you idiot, that there may be something wrong you your end? Oh no, apparently they have a ton of deadbeat tenants who don’t pay or don’t pay on time, so they don’t bother to call anyone, just send out notices.
Even after it was clear that it was their fault, there was still no apologies, and she even went as far as to tell me not to ‘freak out’ if I receive the same notice in the mail. When asking them to remove the late fee, so I can make full payment, she assures, that no worries, according to my lease I have one ‘freebie’… bitch, you just don’t get it, do you, so let me spell it out:

1. Your system screwed up, which caused my money not being taken out of my account (I have bank statement to prove I had the funds waiting).
2. Instead of calling to find out why I didn’t pay (before you figured out it was your fault), you just give me a goddamn impersonal and assuming ‘pay or vacate’ notice, even though I have never missed rent before (in my life, actually)
3. When you finally figure out you screwed up (which I have to pull out of you, as you don’t volunteer the info), you STILL don’t apologize, and claim you did what you officially had to do with the notices.
4. The late fee should have not posted, especially that you already knew it was your mess that caused it in the first place, and telling me you can cancel it one time as a gesture is just effin bs.

So yeah, guess which regularly paying, non-noisy and non-problem-causing tenant will not renew the lease on this overpriced lightless and vulnerable to intruders dungeon? Oh wait, you’re a dumbass, so let me tell you: it’s me!

This should be a category for my failed attempts to capture cooked/non-vegan food.

This time, I’ll bring you raw cauliflower popcorn. I found the recipe linked to by someone on my sproutpeople yahoo groups, and based on their raves and the comments of that blog post I gave it a try. I happened to have all the ingredients, even a head of cauliflower, so I chopped, mixed and shook, and dehydrated overnight.

Meh… Nothing to write home about. My friend Karl did like it, so he ended up finishing the bag. It’s not just that it didn’t taste like popcorn, but it wasn’t even tasty as a snack. All good, I’m sure it would please others (I know it already did based on the comments it received), I just wasn’t fond of it. I like nutritional yeast, but sometimes it can be stupidly overwhelming. Also, I shouldn’t even indulge that much in raw cruciferous veggies due to my low thyroid levels, so I guess not a real loss here. I’ll just keep eating kale with kale (with a bit of seaweed to compensate) to make up for it 😉

For those of you curious enough to wanting to try it, here is the source: Cauliflower popcorn.

Somewhat food-related… actually, very much so, as it has to do with eating.

Ever since I was little, I couldn’t stand the taste of silverware in my mouth. The worse was my grandparents’ aluminum forks and spoons that just made me gag every time they touched my lips or tongue. Stainless steel is somewhat better, but I have been opting for plastic for a long time, ever since I’m not concerned about what other people think about that or me asking for those. I also can’t drink out of metallic bottles, so had to buy a plastic sipper for my eco-friendly canteen.

Now, my family has a small supply of ‘party ware’ for when I’m visiting 🙂 It’s also the sound the metal makes on the porcelain plates, but that’s another story.

Until recently, only one person, who should remain nameless for his protection, but I swear he’s real mentioned to have the same sensitivity, – not necessarily gag-reflex sensitivity, but he admitted he can certainly taste the metal. But, I also just found out about this (or rather, this explains that following cultural phenomenon):

“In Asia, everyone is aware of the metallic taste that these utensils impart on food and therefore prefer to eat with their hands. Even healthy Indians, although they may have a silver set (as they can certainly afford it) will eat with their hands.”

Not exactly the same reason, but pretty darn close: it’s all about the metallic taste. People still look at me funny when I ask for plastic fork or spoon, and some are curious but say they simply can’t taste it. I totally accept that, some of us are just more sensitive than others. It’s my vindication however that a whole continent is backing up my ‘oddball’ behavior 🙂

As much as a stickler to rules I am in real life (rules are good, mmmkay?), I don’t follow them in cooking.
Recipes merely serve as a guideline, on which I build my creativity, due to lack of ingredients or patience or having different tastes.
The only time I’m sticking to it word by word is when it’s a new territory for me (like when I turned vegan) or when I’m baking. Which would explain why I don’t bake at all 🙂

This recipe mashup lifestyle usually pays off. I like to be creative and like to make things work. The only drawbacks are:

– I don’t ever write down my creations (sometimes I annotate existing recipes), so it’s difficult to recreate the deliciousness that was the other night’s dinner. Although, if I do it often enough, it stays in memory, or I accidentally discover yet another cool twist on the ordinary.

– Putting together the wrong ingredients in the wrong amount goes horribly wrong sometimes. I have enough experience and talent  to know what goes well with what, what I can use to fix things, and I’m not just talking about using sweet to soak up the heat. But, some things are just unfixable.

Enter, raw broccoli cream soup. Started innocent enough: rejuvelac, some celery, coconut aminos, spicy sprouts. Then, I decided to save my half a cucumber for next dinner and use something else I had in abundance: broccoli! What a great idea, broccoli cream soup! I added it, along with some hemp seeds to produce the creaminess, and why the heck not, put a tablespoon of papaya seeds for a bit of peppery flavor. Blend blend blend.

Wait, did I say a bit of peppery flavor? Holy… what was I thinking using this ingredient for the first time in an untested amount? The broccoli itself has a weird sharp flavor to it too (which was also a first for me, that I can remember, but I may have blended it with cukes before). Add the papaya seeds, and… no good. At all. Hmmm, what can I do to fix this? I added some hemp oil to bring out those notes, added apple cider vinegar to turn down the sharpness and added some nutritional yeast to bring up the cheesy factor.

Still tastes like ass.

No matter, I hate throwing away food, I thought maybe if it sits, it will get better, and I try again at lunch time.

Nope, still ass. OMGISOGROSS.

This is the second time my thinking betrayed me as far as ‘maybe it gets better if it sits’. Some things do, but raw blended soups that taste funky when they are made definitely are not those some things.

Lesson learned. I’m not giving up broccoli though, but next time I’m steaming them and omit the peppery hell known as papaya seeds.